 | | | Photos Sophie Braccini and provided | | | | | | With the divorce rate in the United States nearing 50 percent, and typical marriages lasting approximately 8 years, what's the secret to a long-lasting relationship? Five Lamorinda couples, all who met as students at Acalanes, Miramonte and Campolindo high schools - with marriages now spanning 10, 20, and 30 years - share what makes their relationships work.
For Karen Blodgett, who met her husband, Larry, in an Acalanes High School Spanish class in 1980, it's all about friendship. "We've grown together, and we are also best friends," she says. After attending class together for a few months, Larry Blodgett built up the courage to ask the younger girl out and "the relationship has not stopped since," he says. Larry went on to college in Idaho after graduating from Acalanes in 1982 - Karen graduated the following year - but he never stopped thinking about the girl he left behind. "Karen was the only one on my mind," he says. She joined him in Idaho, where they were married; they returned to Lafayette to raise their family and take over the family business, Blodgett's Abbey Carpet and Flooring.
Matt Delaney met his wife, Karen, during their freshman year at Campolindo High School - he was a football player, she was an aspiring cheerleader. "What's neat is that we've known each other since we were 14, we know the friends and families, we have a shared history and we've gone full circle," says Matt, who asked her to be his date for the Campo Junior Prom. Later, while on a family ski trip together in Tahoe, Matt shared his dream for the couple. "He told me about the house we would have with a circular driveway and a white picket fence," recalls Karen Delaney. "I knew she was 'the one,'" he says. "I just projected myself 20 years into the future." While they broke up and went to separate colleges, they stayed friends.
A friend's wedding reconnected them when Matt asked Karen to be his date. "The weekend-long wedding turned into a week vacation, then a two-week escapade," Matt reminisces. They got married in 1999 and lived together in Hawaii before returning to Lamorinda to raise their family. "I always kept an eye on the Burton Valley real estate market," he says. "Then one day the perfect home came on the market." The family moved into a house with a circular driveway and white picket fence.
Kathy Biro says, "We feel we have something very special." She met her husband, Rick, in their junior year in an Acalanes chemistry class. It was 1979. "I arrived late to class and there were only two spots left: one in the back next to a member of the football team, and one between Rick and a girl; that's the seat I chose," she says. Love grew steadily during their junior year and junior prom was their first date. They both went to Saint Mary's College. "We didn't choose the same college on purpose," says Rick Biro, "and we even tried to date other people, but we were not very successful!" They soon realized that when they were not together, something was missing. "But it took me nine years to get him to marry me," jokes Kathy. Rick wanted to buy and fix his first house in Martinez and establish himself professionally, "I was not going to bring a bride in a rundown place," he says. They got married in 1989 and moved back to Lafayette when they had kids. "We knew we wanted to raise our children in this community."
For Krista Benson, her marriage to husband, Eric, is a matter of faith. "We have placed God is at the center of our relationship," she says. Eric Benson was a junior at Miramonte, and Krista a freshman at Campolindo when they met at the Moraga Valley Presbyterian Church in 1991. Although they were from rival schools, after a church trip to Mexico to build houses, the two started to date. She went to his prom and he went to hers, and they continued to see each other on vacations after Eric left for Oregon State, until Krista began attending the University of Oregon 40 minutes away. After nine years of dating, they were married and lived in San Diego where Eric was in the Navy, before deciding to settle in Moraga. "Some people move here for the schools," she says. "We came back because we knew what a good place it is to raise children."
Another type of faith is the glue between Jim and Jill Larson. "We have faith that as long as we have each other, everything will turn out fine," says Jill. Love struck the couple in high school, too, but it had a delayed fuse. New to Acalanes, Jill fell for the very popular Jim Larson. He thought she was adorable but had an earlier attachment. They graduated in 1977 and both went to UC Berkeley, where they dated, but had several break-ups. The two met again in Europe in the summer of 1980, only to break-up in Paris. Jill signed up with the Peace Corps and left for Senegal with a two-year commitment. But Jim could not get over her. "He was sending me aerograms saying 'I love you,'" recalls Jill. He even boarded an airplane and found his way to the African village where she was working. When she returned they were married. "For our 20th anniversary I took Jill back to Paris," says Jim. "I owed it to her."
The secret to all these couples' happiness seems to be the shared values, respect and shared experiences from a lifetime together. They all say communication is important as well as working to keep the flame alive - simple things to remember as we approach another Valentine's Day.
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Lamorinda Weekly, Moraga CA