| | Published October 9th, 2024
| Conversations with Your Aging Parents About Organizing and Downsizing for the Future
| | | By Jennifer Raftis, CPOr |  | | Jennifer Raftis and her mom,Pat Cox Photo provided |
As our parents age, the conversation about downsizing can become a necessary yet sensitive topic. For many elderly individuals, the thought of leaving their longtime home and parting with cherished possessions can be overwhelming. While not all seniors need or want to downsize, it's important to start planning for the next chapter, having conversations that will approach this topic with sensitivity, empathy, and practicality. This subject is particularly personal to me as my mother (my favorite person in the entire world) and I had to have this conversation just a few years ago. Here's a guide to help you and your parents navigate these important discussions.
Timing
Timing can be crucial when bringing up the subject of downsizing. It can be helpful to choose a time when your parents are relaxed and not preoccupied with other stressors. Avoid discussing this topic during holidays or family gatherings, which can already be emotionally charged. A quiet, private setting where everyone feels comfortable will facilitate a more open and honest conversation.
Understanding
Begin the conversation by acknowledging the emotional weight of the situation. Recognize that downsizing can feel like losing a part of their identity and past. Express your understanding of their feelings and reassure them that you're there to support them through every step of the process.
Benefits
Highlighting the benefits of downsizing, focusing on the positive aspects is very important. If they are downsizing to move, talk about how a smaller, more manageable space can lead to less maintenance, lower expenses, and increased safety. It can even give them a chance to be closer to family, friends, or medical facilities. A retirement community can be a social game changer for your parents (especially if they don't drive).
Collaboration
This conversation is the starting point of what your parents want and need at this stage of their life. Are they having health issues, physical or mental? Are they aware of their issues? Maybe the adult children are starting to get concerned but the parents are not seeing the problems. Again, timing and sensitivity are the key factors here.
Options and Solutions
If the children are concerned about the safety of their parents remaining in their home alone, starting a solution based conversation is helpful. Some of the topics could cover their health care needs, transportation and social needs going forward. Are they still able to drive to medical appointments? Do they need some sort of medical alert fall device? Do they want to remain in their home or move to a community? There are solutions for both that can be discussed with patience and emotional support. Listen to their concerns, validate their feelings, and be prepared for moments of resistance or sadness. Reassure them that it's okay to feel emotional and that you're there to help them navigate their decisions whether they choose to stay in their home or to downsize and relocate.
Seek Professional Guidance
A Certified Professional Organizerr (CPOr) can help with move management details, consignment/donation options, floor planning and
hauling as well as sorting through all items in the home. I have been in many situations that involve working with the adult children and their parents as a neutral third party who can ease emotional burdens.
If your parents decide to stay in their home, you can have an agency come and assess the safety aspects of the rooms and can offer solutions for aging needs, such as ramps, grab bars, and fall alert systems. California Department of Aging - These services are provided locally by the Area Agencies of Aging (AAA), Medi-Cal Community Based Adult Services (CBAS), www.aging.ca.gov
Are you worried that making changes might be expensive? You may be able to get help paying for repairs and safety updates to your home. Check with your state housing finance agency, social services department, community development groups, or the federal government for financial aid programs and discounts.
If your parents decide to move to a community, there are agencies that will take your parents to several communities to visit in person. I have been working with Bryan at Care Placement Advisors for 8 years and he is amazing, Bryan Riddle at bryan@careplacementadvisors.com. Another great local agency that serves the Bay Area is Exceptional Senior Placement owned by David and Rachel Cohen, you can reach David at david@esenior
placement.com.
Conversations with your aging parents require a balance of empathy, patience and practical support. By approaching the subject with sensitivity and collaboration with the decision-making process, you can help them navigate this significant transition with confidence. Remember, the goal is to ensure their comfort, safety and happiness as they embark on this new chapter of their lives. |
 | | Professional Organizer, Jennifer Raftis, CPOr founded Efficiency Matters, LLC to help you with all of your organizing needs for your home and business. She is a Certified Professional Organizer and an active board member with NAPO, National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals. She is also an independent representative for The Container Store and has expertise in designing closets, garages, pantries, playrooms and more. In addition, she is a Corporate Organizing and Productivity Consultant and has worked with Fortune 500 companies across the U.S. Another large part of her business is move management especially working with seniors who are downsizing. She and her husband have lived in Moraga for 30 years, raising 3 kids and working countless volunteer hours with many local non-profit organizations and schools. Jennifer@efficiencymattersllc.com, 925-698-3756 www.efficiencymattersllc.com | | | | | | | | | | | |
Lamorinda Weekly, Moraga CA